Comparison Is The Thief of Joy

Written By Allie Perry May 24, 2025

This past weekend, I walked two miles. My trek was mostly flat, all paved, and (by my standards) very slow.

Without any context, it seems like it’s barely worth mentioning. 

After all, on your average 30-minute trip to the grocery store, you probably walk about a mile inside the store, plus a little bit extra to get to and from your car.

It’s a non-event.

BUT. A little over six weeks before my two-mile walk, I had labral repair surgery on my hip. For four weeks, I wasn’t allowed to walk without crutches, and I could only bear 50% of my weight on my newly repaired hip.

At the time, I was as likely to walk two miles on my own legs as I was to fly to space using my own arms. So it stands to reason that those two miles walked under my own power should feel like a big accomplishment! After all, my surgeon is thrilled, and my physical therapists are excited for my progress. 

But instead of comparing myself today to myself six weeks ago, and celebrating the advances I’ve made, I’m sitting here comparing myself today to myself at my peak, when I used to hike ten miles of challenging trails without even thinking twice about it. My poorly framed comparison makes those two boring, slow, flat miles seem like a disappointment.

Most of us do some version of this every day. I’m comparing my current fitness level to a higher level I slipped from. You may be comparing your ten-year-old Toyota Camry to your neighbor’s brand-new convertible Porsche Boxster. And plenty of brides I’ve worked with over the years have compared their own beautiful engagement rings to the massive rocks their coworkers flash at the water cooler every day.

Don’t do that to yourself.

I’ll get my fitness back to where I want it. Your Camry will average about 100,000 more lifetime miles than your neighbor’s fancy Boxster. And from my decade-long experience specializing in bespoke bridal jewelry, I know the woman at the water cooler with the two-carat ring is probably longing for the four-carat stone her friend has, or wishing her large stone didn’t get caught so frequently on all of her sweaters.

Because sometimes what we think we want, what we actually want, and what will make us happy are three different things.

I’ve worked with some brides-to-be who said they wanted something unique but chose the trendiest style, and others who thought they wanted to be on-trend but fell in love with estate jewelry that was practically the exact opposite of what they originally wanted. Many of them believed they couldn’t afford a custom ring, because they were imagining the over-the-top red-carpet pieces they’d seen on their favorite celebrities. 

But only when I helped them work through what it was they really wanted, and they stopped comparing the pieces they really loved with the pieces they thought they were supposed to want, was I able to design the perfect ring to match their dream look and their lifestyle. And I loved sharing in their excitement when they discovered they could actually afford to have me make their new dream ring!

So what if you can’t afford the custom bauble hugging the finger of the Kardashian du jour‽ You can still afford to get a ring that will make you happy, or a handmade pendant that no one else in the world has.

I design and handmade one-of-a-kind jewelry pieces for exactly that reason. Because I think you deserve it.

Teddy Roosevelt was right when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s time to reframe your comparisons to highlight what you have, how far you’ve come, and what you’ve achieved.

And when you’re ready to celebrate those achievements, let me know. I’d love to help you bring your jewelry dream to life!